TAYLOR SWIFT – Look What You Made Me Do
Edward Chang Choreography (Edward Chang)
Have you felt like you are too concerned with getting likes, comments, followers on your social media.
Look! That is high school. You not in high school are you?
Why do you care? Does it really make you feel good about yourself?
It’s enough. It doesn’t matter what they think.
Yep. That also means your parents, your relatives, your friends.
Here is what you need to do. Go do something.
You don’t need to care about what punkMan169 thinks.
Get clean of the negativity from caring about what other people think of you.
How To Stop Caring What Other People Think
Your parents, your teachers, your spouse, your friends, everyone has an opinion. To have a winner’s mentality, you can’t be concerned with what others think.
It gets noisy if you spend your time trying to satisfy everyone’s opinions. Everyone is going to have a different opinion and there is no way to please everyone.
You have to pick and choose.
At the core of it, people aren’t really about “you”. They’re about what “they” think.
It could be with the best intentions but do they know everything that is going on in your life? Aren’t “you” in charge of “you”?
So, how do we quite down the noise?
Here’s how you can get quiet in your own head:
TAKE FEEDBACK WITH CONTEXT FROM OTHERS
Seek feedback with context. Know and understand where the feedback is coming from?
Is there an agenda behind the feedback? What’s the intent?
For example, my parents told me to get a high paying job so I could make a secure living. Sounds reasonable, it sounds like they want me to be successful and independent. But what did my parents really want? Like many parents, my parents were insecure. They wanted to me get a high paying job to boost their own self esteem. They wanted to brag about my success and boost there ego with their friends. If I didn’t get the right grades, the right job, the right anything they would tell me so and so’s kid is doing this why aren’t you. They were always dissatisfied with me and what I did.
Many of our parents do this. They are merely using the kid to boost their ego. In my family I also get told “who is going to take care of me when I am old?”, “in the next life, I am not having kids.”
Are people really looking out for you? Does it go broader than just parents?
The truth is no one is really going to look out for you than you. Think about this: if someone helps someone out of the compassion of their heart are they really doing it altruistically or are they seeking pleasure from the reaction others give them?
Understand where the feedback is coming from. Empathize with where they are coming from but don’t get sucked into their motives and agenda for you. Remember, they are not in control of your life, you are.
TURN REGRET INTO GRATITUDE
When you talk to just about anyone I am sure there is bound to be some regrets. This is especially true with the elderly. They often talk about what they regret in life.
Look, you will make bad decisions. They are bound to happen. Some regrets will be bigger and some smaller.
It doesn’t you any good to regret and reminisce about past events. It’s the past. It is done and over.
I always am thankful for my mistakes in the past. They lead me to so many new and better opportunities. I learn from my mistakes and I just move on. It’s done and I can’t go back and change it. I can only choose to learn from it.
I don’t judge myself for the mistakes I made. I live with the mistakes and am proud to have made them because they helped make me who I am today.
KNOW YOURSELF AS WELL AS YOU CAN
The best way I know to not care about what others think is to be introspective.
Know what makes you tick. Ask yourself why you think the way you do.
Why do I like…? Why do I feel…? Why do I respond like…? Why…?
Interview yourself. Go on a date with yourself.
Ever heard of the statement you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.
Guess what ruins marriages, not recognizing your inner feelings and just not saying anything.
Communicate with yourself to a level where you can recognize yourself anywhere.
Knowing yourself gives you certainty. Know what you want. When someone gives you feedback see if it aligns with who you are. Maybe it doesn’t.
Not all feedback is going to match up with what you want. Allot of feedback will lead you astray.
Stay true to yourself.
When I went through this piece I drew on the many experiences I had in life.
The opening movements represented tossing away a graduation hat followed by getting a job, making bank and thinking that everything was going to be fine.
How that did not happen. It was what my parents told me. I blamed them.
The piece follows my life story, how my parents drove me to becoming a book worm, how I studied martial arts, got bullied, and was misdiagnosed with autism and ADHD, how I got into medicine, but felt caged by society, feeling like I wanted to commit suicide and also wanting to have someone take away my parents, running away from medicine and getting myself into theater and finally dance.
Listening to my parents did not end me with a personable career for me, medicine was a good field to get into but wasn’t quite right for me. I love it, but today’s medical field is more a political battle than actual medicine. There was allot of feedback that I received over the years and they lead me down so many paths in life. They could be called mistakes. If they are than I love every single one of the mistakes I made. I mean none of the movements would have been created without them.
You shouldn’t care about what others think. Your opinion is the only one that will truly matter at the end of the day for you.